People of the Truth

A husband once asked me whether it was ok to tell his wife that her dress looked great when it did not. I had to give him the Church's teaching on the eighth commandment. Basically it says: a lie is a lie, regardless of whether it is a big lie ("no, I did not kill him") or a small lie ("yes, I did all my homework"). Scripture may be written a bit vaguely in some places, but when it comes to pointing out the wickedness of falsehood, it is perfectly clear.

Whenever we withhold a truth, we are harming someone (and ourselves as well). It does not make a difference if we think it is mild or only for fun; "do not bear false witness" is not negotiable. I cannot tell you how many excuses I have heard for telling a falsehood, but I have never once heard someone say, "it is ok to lie because I like harming others and making myself feel good about it". No, most would not say that; instead they just call it a "white lie" (kind of like "white magic" -- an evil thing used for a "good" purpose -- as though that were possible!). Everyone who lies will find excuses and say that what they are doing is ok.

There are a few instances where the Word of God does not condemn something that is not true. The two clear ones are the Hebrew midwives with the baby boys, and Rahab with the Israelite spies. The Hebrew midwives said something to Pharaoh that was not true, but it was to protect life; he would have killed the baby boys if they had told the truth, and they were just in their actions. Pharaoh would have abused the truth and used it to commit murder. Similarly, Rahab said the spies were not present when they were; they too would have been killed if she had given them away. Those instances are rare, and those who seek to say their falsehood is allowable are not seeking to save life. It is always for fun or to make themselves feel better.

Here are a few examples of how one can deal properly with those "tight" situations where we often end up justifying a lie. "Honey, I love you, and I would rather you be upset with me for saying the dress does not look great, than for lying to you and having you find it out the hard way". Or, "I would rather not answer that". Or, "I do not have all the information, but based on what you have said, I believe you may have made a mistake." Finding the truth may be hard, but being honest about our limitations, and being loving towards those we need to speak to about the hard truths is a command of God.

In the book of Leviticus, Moses said the tale-bearer needs to be executed because it is destructive to an entire society; falsehood destroys a person's spirit and blinds them to other sins. Remember, Jesus said that Satan is the father of lies (even "little white ones") and He told us that we need to be people of truth. St. Paul said to speak the truth in all things. Do we take this seriously, or do we find ways to justify our disobedience of what God has said? We do not necessarily need to be mean to others with the truth, but we do need to find ways to speak truthfully even when we feel compromised in the situation.